Did I grab your attention?
Why use the word prison? A Prison is a place of physical confinement, isolation and restriction to various levels of personal freedom.
The post in context: I feel the word prison captures the effects of experiencing low self esteem which are isolation, little or no self worth, frustration, depression………
Low Self Esteem refers the negative view of self would revolve around every sphere of your life, producing faulty assumptions and an ongoing self-defeating behavior.
You become IMPRISONED with the feelings of insecurity, take fewer risks, communicate less and this restricts various opportunities available for your personal growth or development.
There was an article on the BBC website dated the 9th of July 2009 stating Self Help Makes You Feel Worse. While my opinion differs from that statement in the context of positive and progressive personal development, I tend to agree with the concept of the article and support the statement by Simon Gelsthorpe, a psychologist with Bradford District Care Trust. I felt a need to blog on this, attempting to highlight low self esteem symptoms, suggest ways in which we can handle it, inorder to promote our personal development. Its not about relying heavily on positive affirmations, statements, mantras etc alone, but working out an approach to building self confidence over a certain period.
Low self eteem signs are as follows:
Feeling that you’re not good enough – even if you are. A decreased level of self confidence associated with putting yourself down all the time. The feeling of being overwhelmed by the purpose of life. Social withdrawal. Being unnecessarily fearful and concerned over what people think or imagine about you. The feeling of Self neglect.
Ways to break out of the Low self esteem prison
Engage in activities you like. Engage in activities that you like, knowing you can excel. This boosts your level of confidence. Know what aspects of your life that need development. It improves your personal/professional growth, promotes your strengths and fosters positive relationships or work ethics e.tc. Your talents, abilities should be maximized to their optimal level in order to achieve purpose and direction for your life. When you identify and engage in these areas with purpose, you earn the self-esteem that you feel you deserve.
Address your weaknesses. Our weaknesses tend to box us into a corner, or for the purpose of this topic IMPRISON us. Be rational in laying out on the table various aspects of your life. Find the perfect motivation for changing these aspects in your life and dont expect a sudden miracle. Building self-esteem needs purpose and the need to accept changes in your life. Know that patience is a virtue, go slow but sure. Your habits will not change overnight. Rejoice when you make a tiny progressive change using that as a stimulus to propel further quests for personal growth and development.
Acknowledge your positive qualities Believe in yourself. Feel good about what you have achieved so far, your ability to face the future with confidence and purpose. Dont be too hard on yourself. This is a negative trait which over time, develops into low self esteem. Stop flogging yourself over mistakes over the past. Learn from your experiences and avoid comparing yourself to other people
Know your limitations. Know when to push and when to rest. There will always be times when situations will come to a plateau and you are confused on how to proceed. Follow your instincts and learn to be patient.
Interact with positive and supportive people. I always place emphasis on the need for positive networking because its necessary for personal development. Who you associate with influences your thoughts, actions and behaviour. Negative people tend to downplay your ideas, walk over you, patronize you etc. This significantly lowers your self esteem. Interacting with positive and supportive people tends to reduce of several bouts of low self esteem by impacting your life, making you feel loved, wanted, happy, constructively challenging you to positive growth….. Its important to develop a positive/personal support network.
Acknowledge compliments and constructive criticisms. Positive compliments and constructive criticisms (this shouldnt be likened to negative talks about your person) shouldnt be ignored at all. When you put yourself in a position of not being teachable or unworthy praises for work done, or good character possessed, it reflects low self esteem. Be gracious when receiving compliments or criticisms because they make you better person. It creates a sense of value and allows you contribute positively to the life of others.
Find out your purpose. Lay down in specific terms what you want to achieve in your life. Being realistic about your goals will enable you formulate specific steps on how to achieve that purpose. When you know what you want, you should be able to set concrete, achievable and measurable goals. Never aspire to have unrealistic expectations because its end result is low self esteem, depression, disenchantment.
Some ideas
Sit down and examine yourself.
Make a list of strengths.
List your goals and be sure to create milestones going there.
Put your goal in stages
Be Optimistic
Have a time frame
Think about how people can aid in achieving your goals
People who experience low self esteem feel imprisoned but there is a likelihood of the prison doors being wide open without anyone imposing their stay in there.
Take action today to deal with low self esteem.
Finally, IS THERE ANYONE READY TO BREAK OUT OF PRISON?
I look forward to your comments
Ayo Olaniyan is a licensed Unitive Life Coach and Counsellor. He is a member of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council, a professional counsellor with the Counselling Society.You can visit the website Discovering Purpose to view or subscribe to personal growth articles. Creating a purpose driven life through personal growth
